Hi everyone, and welcome to my web site! I'm sure if you've

come this far to find me, you already know a little bit about

my story. If you don't, let me just briefly fill you in.  Before

May 19th, 1992, I was a Long Island, New York housewife with

a husband and 2 children, a boy and a girl.  Trying to be a good

mom and wife and just trying to get through life like

everybody else. But all that changed on that day, when I

answered the door to find a young girl on my front stoop.

After a brief conversation, she shot me in the side of my head.


That day changed mine and my family's life forever.


For many years after I was shot, people would say to me, “You ought to write a book!” And for many years I said, “Are you crazy? It was bad enough going through it, I certainly don’t want to relive it!” Then, 4 years ago, I had a conversation with my son that changed everything. He stated, quite matter-of-factly, that his father was a sociopath. I initially denied it, and thought that all sociopaths were all cold blooded, calculating murderers. It disturbed me so much that my son would say this, and so, late that night, after he went home, I typed the word “sociopath” into the computer. As I sat there and read the description of the traits that a typical sociopath has, the blood drained from my face and I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. This was the answer to the maddening questions that I had had for over 20 years------what the hell was the matter with my husband? Why doesn’t he ever “get it” or “grow up?” “Why does he single-handedly destroy everything that is good in his life?”

And there was my answer. It was in front of me the whole time, but I just didn’t understand what a sociopath was. Suddenly, I had a reason to tell my story. So that maybe somebody else who is going through one of these maddening relationships would recognize and relate to it. So that they would understand that you can’t “help”, or “fix,” a person like this and that all they will do is drag you down with them. The only way to deal with a sociopath is not to deal with them at all.


And so, a book is born! “Getting it Through My Thick Skull”, which I am proud to say has become a New York Times best seller, is the story of what I went through and what I learned from my experience.

Since then, I have spoken on many shows and at many conferences about what I have learned on this crazy journey called my life. Thousands of letters and e-mails later, I thought about how I could best get my message out to the masses. I especially wanted to talk to the young people of the world about my experiences so that they might be able to avoid a life of insanity and pain and expect nothing less than fulfilled, committed and loving relationships with the people in their lives.


Enter CAMPUSPEAK. They are an organization that works primarily within the higher education community that serves all areas of student life. They represent speakers who motivate young students to think, and be, a cut above the rest. After 2 years with this terrific company, I decided to move on and try to reach more people with my story of hope and inspiration.  By doing this, it helps me make sense of something so senseless.  Many people have their own "May 19th" in life and I want them to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

So come on in and see what I'm up to----and thank you for allowing me to come into your home for a little while! 



Professional Photos by: Victor Bernard • Props and Antagonist: Jerry Gallegos

​Website Design: Stu Tendler • Content: Mary Jo Buttafuoco™® 2012